Review: Battlefield Earth

Cast: John Travolta, Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan), Forrest Whitaker

Plot: The world has been taken over by 7 foot tall aliens. While they look a lot like Herman Munster they seem to have the humans well under control. For reasons barely comprehensible, Chief of alien security John Travolta decides to teach one of the humans to speak and read alien. Then the genius human leads an up rising and mankind triumphs over the evil aliens. I hope I didn’t spoil it for you, the humans do triumph.

DVD Special Features: Commentary by director Roger Christian and production designer Patrick Tatopoulos, behind-the-Scenes Documentaries Evolution, Creation and Creative Visual Effects, John Travolta Makeup Test, Storyboard Montage, Cast/ Director Film Highlights, Hidden Extras, Widescreen anamorphic format

Watch the special features, they are priceless. Nothing is better than listening to a bunch of kiss asses praise John Travolta’s work in this movie. Everyone knew this movie sucks but they still had to make the DVD extras and pretend they had just created Gone With the Wind. The special features are the best acting on this disk. Everyone seems so sincere about how good this movie is.

The Good: I am a big Sci-Fi fan, so when I heard John T was associated with this project I was very excited. Anytime you get good talent and a big budget into a science fiction film it’s a good thing. That’s all the good I can say about this movie--like the idea, hated everything else.

The Bad: Normally when reviewers bash a Science Fiction movie I ignore them, figuring they don’t generally get the genre. When this movie received galactically bad reviews I was unfazed, with all that talent and that big budget how could they go wrong?

I will only give one example from the movie that really sums up the whole thing. The once cave dwelling humans find a long lost training facility that houses Harrier Jet simulators. These cave humans who can barely speak manage to fire up the simulators and teach themselves to fly in two weeks. Long live the really smart cave people and death to the really dumb audiences that buy any of this for a second.

Bottom Line: This film tastes of big hairy alien ass….

Rating: So bad it can only make it to Four Bo