Today I sit upon my couch watching the Chicago Bears play some great football. The steaks are grilling on the Weber. I am wearing my flannel shirt, holey jeans and wearing my Dr. Martin boots. When the game is over me and the lads are going to Tiffany’s Cabaret, where we will shovel our paychecks into our favorite stripers g-strings.

Why is all this testosterone flowing? Through a sad turn of events my living room has been invaded by chick flicks. The last three disks in my DVD player have been Head Over Heels, Americas Sweet Heart, and God help me the Wedding Planner.

I hear the laughter and you are welcome to enjoy my pain. But mark my words you can be in my shoes if you aren’t careful. I didn’t go into my favorite video store seeking out an arm load of chick flicks. The critical error was made when I took a woman into the store with me.

All my bad video woes could have been avoided had I gone solo to the video store. I have tried many strategies when taking women to video stores. Never have I been able to get out with a movie that was worth watching. I tried verbal protests, didn’t work. Lying about seeing all the horrible movies, didn’t work. Throwing my wallet under my car, didn’t work.

Observation; if you want to have sex with a woman and you take her to the video store, she will end up picking the movie. Additionally the more you are into the chick the worse the movie will be. Finally if you totally dig the girl you will end up watching the Wedding Planner.

The next time you end up watching a horrible chick flick with your favorite girl remember all the dudes are laughing at you. You thought you were cool and took your gal to the video store and you got crushed. Put your skirt on and enjoy the movie, because it’s your own damn fault.